Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
