he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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