He had one of those small greek statue penises
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
