the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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