Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
