508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
