**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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