JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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