You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
