haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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