After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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