So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
