I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
