Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
