HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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