the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize