Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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