weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Even my vagina gasped.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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