Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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