There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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