I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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