Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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