Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
