real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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