Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
