So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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