My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
