I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
