who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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