It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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