This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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