it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize