shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
