talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
