; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
