my room smells like sperm. sweet.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
