Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
