i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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