They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm having to shit out rocks
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
