I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
