I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
