I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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