i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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