They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
