my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
