i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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