I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize