Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
