just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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