I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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