Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
