Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
