you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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