dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
