I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
