According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
