i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i out mim tonsoeep
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
