Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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