She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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