Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Come on in and take your pants off
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