i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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