I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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