My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She bit a glass in half.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize
