I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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