I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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